Musings
A bi-weekly column for The Richmond Review newspaper. It appears every second Saturday.
On Again, Off Again with Richmond
Musings about my relationship with my hometown of Richmond.
My inaugural column for The Richmond Review November 12, 2005.
Richmond and I met when I was five. I was new to the country, and although he didn't seem overly interested in where I was from, he didn't seem to mind either. Richmond was nice enough. He was small and quiet then.
And for some reason I have fuzzy memories of front doors being left unlocked at the time, and clearer memories of long, golden days playing tag, weaving back and forth over ditches. One time, I slipped into the murky water, and my friend Karen put my lone sock in the dryer, telling me that the dryer doesn't only dry socks, it cleans them as well. And as if by magic, it seemed to be true.
I first broke up with Richmond when I was 20. We had taken some time apart the summer before so that I could meet Quebec City. But we all know, the “I need some space” talk is really just a precursor to the actual breakup. Truth be told, I had fallen in love... with his cousin Montreal. Not only did he share QC's Old World charm and a convivial je ne sais quoi, he was stylish, and possessed a charisma that attracted people from all over the world. We stayed together for two fabulous years, before I reluctantly went back to the familiar.
My career aspirations to become a journalist didn't come with a handbook and I was treading water in a sink-or-swim TV newsroom. Richmond seemed to be a bit lost as well. The world was changing and he was struggling to keep up. Ironically, his major pre-occupation then is what it is today: Christmas. Or, Christmas lights, if you want to be specific.
Only back then, he was having trouble with the neighbours who whispered in not-so-nice tones of the Asian invasion and monster homes. Once, after going over my allotted 23 seconds during an overnight newsbreak, an irate woman phoned, screeching that I had no right to be on television. I had to do a little research to find out what “gook” meant.
Despite his occasional outbursts, I could already feel my attraction for Vancouver. But I knew I needed to spread my wings a little further. And so began a series of flings. First with London - no, not that London, the Ontario one - to complete a journalism degree; and then Toronto, with whom my plans for a one-year affair somehow turned into five. One morning I awoke to find him challenging me with a question I couldn't avoid - after all, we were talking marriage: Why are you here? I didn't have a good answer and I knew right away I had to return.
I can't say I was very nice to Richmond. Our limited conversations were comprised of visits to London Drugs, re-located to Westminster Highway from its old location at No. 3 and Cook (and only those who've been away can really appreciate having a London Drugs nearby), Save-On-Foods, and an occasional movie at the new SilverCity Riverport. I was cheating on Richmond with Kitsilano. And as the affair got more intense, I moved in.
But now I'm back again. Kitsilano was wearing on me. Lululemon pants everywhere you turned. Perhaps my irritation stemmed more from the fact that I could no longer afford them, but no matter. I've taken to pondering the why and how behind the what, where and when. They say the third time's a charm and so it is with my parents as well. They are better than roommates; I don't have to ask before I help myself to the leftovers. And my mother doesn't even cook with cheese.
As for my on-again, off-again relationship with Richmond? Well, I've decided to overlook his intolerable habit of stop-go traffic in the downtown core. And I won't be scared off by his wayward dalliances with drugs and crime. Because, just between you and me, my bigger fear was of boredom - Richmond being the family-oriented sort that he is.
He's surprised me though, with scenic bike rides along the water's edge on the dyke. In the summer the purple flowers of the cattail remind me of fields of lavender when I was in the arms of France - but that's another story. Richmond and I happily go rollerblading under the Arthur Laing Bridge, and bird-watch at Iona Beach. We've tried spicy curry fish balls at the Richmond Night Market, fish and chips at Pajo's, and steaming pho at Pho Viet. Richmond has become intelligent, interesting and worldly - without having lost his roots in community.
Ours is not the traditional til-death-do-us part kind of marriage, but it's the longest and surest relationship I've had. It's nice to see we get along after all these years.